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May 17, 2011
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[I suggest you read the first Twilight October before reading this]



"Permission to ask where Spike is, cap'n?"

"Err," said Twilight, pushing a pillow out of the way so she could see her pink companion. "Permission granted."

"Where's Spike?"

"He said he had a tummy ache so he wouldn't be joining us today."

"Aww, that's too bad. I finally found a hat just like his," said Pinkie Pie. "And what'll you do without a periscope?"

Twilight grinned. "With Spike's help I've come up with a new kind of under-pillow sonar; I can send out a tiny wave of magic that will bounce off of ponies and tell me where they are."

"Ooo, clever! Try it now, try it now!"

"Okay," said Twilight, and her horn glowed a little brighter as she began to concentrate.

Pinkie wiggled in anticipation. "What does it say?"

"Their surface vessels are scattered, this should work to our advantage. I'll check again to see if they're moving." Twilight's horn flared. "Oh?" she said. "They've all gotten closer..."

"What's wrong cap'n?"

Her magic pulsed out a third time. "This is bad, they're almost on top of us! They must be able to track my sonar somehow..."

Pinkie began to shake Twilight by the shoulders, completely breaking her chain of thought.

"What are we gonna do Twilight? I know I won't be able to hold up under interrogation, I'll sing like a birdy! One small feather and I'll be telling them all of the secret songs I've been working on! And then it'll be all my secret jokes, and then all my secret pranks, and then-"

"Comrade Pie!"

Pinkie let go of Twilight, although it took several seconds for her to stop shaking.

"By now they'll be surrounding us, but you can still escape, it's me they're after."

"I can't abandon my captain!" said Pinkie.

"Don't worry, I've got a very important mission for you... Sputnik-Pie."



"Come on out Twi', we've got you surrounded."

Rainbow Dash pulled her head out of the pillows. "Pinkie Pie is on the move!"

"What about Twilight?" asked Applejack.

"Didn't hear anything from her, she must still be there."

"Then Pinkie's a distraction. Eyes on the prize, ladies."

Rainbow nodded in agreement; this was the closest they had come to defeating the Twilight October, and she wasn't about to mess up this opportunity by chasing a burrowing pink pony.

Applejack brought her head closer to the pillows. "Don't make us come down there!"

The area that the friends had surrounded began to move. Twilight was surfacing.



"All right, you got me," Twilight said as she finished extracting herself from the pillows. "So what are you going to- Rarity?!?"

"Were you not expecting to see me on the ground, as it were?" answered the impeccably groomed unicorn.

"Well, no... you never were before. I mistook you for Fluttershy with my sonar."

"Ahh, we wanted to mix things up a little. It wouldn't be fun if you won every time."

Twilight nodded. "Fair enough."

"Also, Fluttershy wanted to try being a rescue helicopter," Rarity said, nodding her head towards the yellow pegasus as she did so.

Fluttershy was a little further back from the main group. Angel and Gummy were taking it in turns to dive off of her head and onto the pillows, where they would flounder around, pretending to be lost at sea. Fluttershy would then hover down and extract them from their soft, cushiony fate.

"And this time," Rarity continued, "we have a secret weapon." She turned side-on to Twilight, revealing her passenger who had previously been obscured behind her mane.

"Spike!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Pryvet, comrade," said Spike, his accent having slightly improved over time.

"Well that explains how Rarity was able to track my new sonar... but how could you betray the Motherland like this, former comrade Spike? You believed in the cause more than any of us; without you she would have already fallen."

"She has already fallen, Twilight. Zhe Motherland zhat we fought to protect abandoned us and her own values long ago. Too many of her sons and daughters have been lost in zhese meaningless conflicts. Is it wrong to seek an end to zhis bloodshed? To wish for zhis war to be over?"

"No battle is meaningless that is fought to protect our freedom." Twilight retorted.

"And were we free Twilight? Were we free to meet with friends without rousing suspicion? Were we free to visit our own home towns without identity papers and checkpoints? Were we free to read a book zhat wasn't on zhe preapproved list?

No, Twilight. We could do none of zhese zhings. We did not have freedom. We fought for a paradise of the proletariat, an end to the exploitation carried out by zhe bourgeoisie. Instead her people live in poverty, exploited now by the corrupt bureaucrats and officials zhat were put in place to protect zhem."

"So you claim your actions are for the people?"

"No, Twilight. I wish my defection had such a noble cause, but my motivation was purely selfish.

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"Rarity let me ride around on her back."

Twilight rolled her eyes. Suddenly, she smiled. "So you think you have won?"

"Well, a'course. We captured ourselves the dreaded Twilight October," said Applejack.

"Oh, we'll see about that," replied Twilight. "Strike from the sky, comrades!"

Three little ponies leapt off of the balcony above them.

"CUTIEMARK CRUSADER COSMONAUGHTS! YAY!"

-

"We got 'em, we got 'em!" said Sweetie Belle from on top of her sister.

"Yes. You did," said Rarity, having been flattened onto the pillows by the impact. She was propping her head up with her hoof. Spike had managed to throw himself free before becoming a dragon sandwich.

"Okay, that was a pretty cool entrance," Rainbow admitted, trying to extract herself from Scootaloo.

"Really?!?" asked the orange filly.

"Sure kiddo." Rainbow tapped the plastic bowl Scootaloo was wearing on her head. "But I don't think much of this thing."

"That's my helmet. Pinkie Pie said we needed them to breath in space."

Rainbow chuckled.

Applebloom was spinning around on Applejack's back, trying get a look at her own flank. "Didwegetourcutiemarks, didwegetourcutiemarks?!?"

"I sure hope you don't get a 'jumpin' on yur' sister cutiemark'."

Their helmets prevented the cutiemark crusaders from checking their own flanks, so they checked each others.

"Awww," they said together.

Twilight beamed at them. "You did a great job, comrades. The Motherland is lucky to have you."

"Always happy to help, Twilight," said Applebloom.

"Does this mean we win?" asked Scootaloo.

Applejack got to her feet, which made Applebloom wobble trying keep her balance. "Now hold on just fer a minute. We aint' out of this yet, we've still got Fluttershy. She could... wait... is that a fin poking out between those pillows?"

Seven ponies and a dragon turned to look at where Fluttershy was standing.

"Ummm...?" said Fluttershy

"RAAWR!" said Pinkie Pie, roaring in precisely the way a shark doesn't.

The pink pony exploded out of the pillows, latching onto Fluttershy and dragging her beneath the surface before the onlookers even had a chance to blink.

Fluttershy's terrified "Eeeeeeek!" faded rapidly, as she was taken to the dark, downy, depths.


Spike broke the silence. "Just when you thought it was safe to go back to bed..."

"Okay, now ya' win."
Should probably read this first.

The ponies are at it again. But the game has changed; can the Twilight October survive in these troubled times?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconzombieassassin94:
zombieassassin94 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You're gonna write a third one, right? These are way too hilarious to discontinue. You have a knack for humorous stories.
Reply
:iconmaddog3060:
Maddog3060 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2011
These stories were hilarious. Good job, sir.
Reply
:iconvaguelycreepy:
VaguelyCreepy Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2011  Student General Artist
...aaand a spectacular follow up! Good job all around, my fine feathered friend! I too liked the "shark" line, but I also liked the "dark, downy depths" and "soft, cushiony fate" lines. And of course I simply had to read Spike's little speech out loud in a fake Russian accent.
Reply
:iconmarrockv:
MarrockV Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011
I've lost track of how many times I've read this story and it's still as funny as the first time...

"Toot toot!"
Reply
:iconbinarywraith:
binarywraith Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011  Professional Artisan Crafter
I'm just sitting here laughing over that one line. 'Roaring in precisely the way a shark doesn't.' is very clever!
Reply
:iconunladenseagull:
UnladenSeagull Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011
I ought to point out that the turn of phrase in question was stolen from the Hitchhiker's Guide,
"They hung in the air exactly the same way that bricks don't."
So no credit for originality there.
The altered phrase (read in the Narrator's voice) popped into my head and suited my purpose so well that I had to use it.
Reply
:iconsithking-zero:
Sithking-Zero Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Oh, i thought the Shark Roaring thing was a bit of a "Take That," to "Jaws 4," where a shark does, in fact, roar.

It was very stupid.
Reply
:iconbinarywraith:
binarywraith Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011  Professional Artisan Crafter
I thought it sounded familiar, but it suits Pinky (and the scene) so well that I doubt anyone would notice if you hadn't mentioned it.
Reply
:iconmarrockv:
MarrockV Featured By Owner May 28, 2011
Poor Fluttershy, she shall be missed.
Reply
:icondancinninjac:
dancinninjac Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
The biggest laugh came from "roaring in precisely the way a shark doesn't". Brilliant. The entrance of the Cutie Mark Crusaders caught me by surprise, well done!
Reply
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